Decisions,Decisions,Decisions
by JLGuyer
Summary: In the life of every man there comes times of decision making. Athrun Zala has reached one of those times. His decision? Who does he really love, Cagalli or Meyrin? Pairings: Athrun & Meyrin, Dearka & Miriallia
1. Chapter 1

Standard disclaimer: the author does not own Gundam Seed(Destiny) or any of its characters. Gundam Seed(Destiny) is the property of Bandai and Sunrise plus other people who I don't know the names of.

"Athrun? Athrun?" A soft female voice called his name persistently but, Athrun Zala, took no heed of it as he stared down at the sidewalk cafe's metal table top.

Meyrin Hawke, let out a sigh of defeat as she watched the man across from her stare broodingly down at the table. Waiting a few minutes more to see if he would snap out of his funk on his own, Meyrin, finally gave up and went for a more forceful measure of rousing Athrun from his thoughts.

Leaning across the table she put her hand on his shoulder and shaking it gently, said in a teasing voice, "Athrun, it is considered rude to fall asleep on a restaurant table."

This caught his attention. Shake his head as if to clear away cobwebs from his mind, he smiled wanly into Meyrin's concerned blue-gray eyes.

At this smile Meyrin, removed her hand from Athrun's shoulder and said, "Is something bothering you, Athrun? Would you like to talk about it?"

As she said this a blush streaked across her cheeks and in a stammering voice she continued, "Not that you have to talk to me about it. I am sure Kira and Lacus are still in the area if you wanted to speak to them instead. Do you want me to call them for you?"

Athrun's eyes had begun glowing in amusement as Meyrin was prattlingly nervously on, but at her suggestion of calling Kira and Lacus, Athrun, shook his head said, "No, Meyrin, I don't need to talk to them. I just have some things I need to figure out that's all."

"Oh, alright. Do you want me to leave?" Meyrin tried to sound chipper as she said this but Athrun caught the under current of disappointment in her voice.

And while it filled his heart with happiness to hear that trace of disappointment in her voice he also felt guilty. After all what right did he have to feel happy about Meyrin being disappointed at the thought of leaving his company when he still wasn't sure were his heart wanted to be.

With that thought rushing through his mind, he once again fell to pondering what he had been thinking on before Meyrin had caught his attention.

Who did he really want to be with?

Cagalli Yula Attha or Meyrin Hawke?

Author's Notes: Thank you for reading this fanfiction. I hope you have enjoyed it. Please review.

To all readers of my other stories that may have wandered in here. I am still writing them. This story just wouldn't leave me alone. Thank you for understanding.

God bless you, Jesus loves you,

EzrathenNehemiah Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation. Habakkuk 3:18


	2. Chapter 2

Standard disclaimer: the author does not own Gundam Seed(Destiny) or any of its characters. Gundam Seed(Destiny) is the property of Bandai and Sunrise plus other people who I don't know the names of.

Shaking her head in defeat Meyrin leaned back in her chair and picking up her cup of tea, took a small sip of it as she studied Athrun's brooding face.

She had to admit to herself that just watching him wasn't a bad way to spend time, but she would still much rather be sending the afternoon _talking_ to him instead of just admiring his handsome features.

Since her last try at getting him to talk to her had fallen flat, Meyrin decided to ask him if he would like to take a walk with her. And if he said no she would just take the walk on her own so he could have some time to himself.

Something he obviously needed considering his absentmindedness today. Standing up she placed some money for their meals next to her plate and leaning down until her face was just inches away from his, she said, "Athrun would you like to go on a walk with me?"

He turned his light green eyes up to met her's and the confusion she saw in them tugged at her heart while the feel of his breath on her face made a light flush spread across her face.

Athrun smiled at her and to her surprise said, "That's sounds good. Do you want to leave now or have another cup of tea?"

Stepping back a step Meyrin clasped her hands in front of her and said, "Oh, I'm done with my tea. But if you want to have another cup I can wait."

Standing up Athrun shook his head and said,"No, I've had enough to drink as well.Just let me pay for our lunches and we can get going."

As Athrun placed a few bills on the table for their meals Meyrin stealthy walked over to where she had been sitting, and swiftly picking up the money she had already laid there, she stuffed it back into her pocket.

She then scampered back to Athrun's side as he began walking out of the cafe.

Walking just a step behind him, Meyrin took a deep breath of the crisp fall air and with a happy laugh said, "Isn't the weather lovely Athrun?"

Athrun look at her over his shoulder a frown creasing his face as he said, "Yes, it is."

He continued to look at her his frown still firmly in place though Meyrin could not think of a single thing she had done that would cause him to be upset, then turned back around a few seconds later not having said another word.

Sighing deeply Meyrin dropped her eyes to the concrete sidewalk that they were walking down unsure of what to do now that she had apparently ticked Athrun off.

It was now Meyrin's turn to become lost in thought as they continued there journey through midtown ORB.While thinking about how to apologize for whatever she had done to offend him, Meyrin felt of a hand grasping her own and let out a small scream of shock.

Hearing her shriek, Athrun stopped suddenly causing Meyrin to run into his back quite forcefully since he still had a hold on her hand.

Whimpering at the feeling of pain running up and down her nose, Meyrin looked up into Athrun's now worried eyes and even though she was confused, mad, and more than a little bit in pain she did her best to give him a reassuring smile even as her eyes filled with tears.

Athrun on the other hand was looking very guilty, something that his voice echoed as he said,"Oh, Meyrin I'm sorry! Are you all right?"

His hand fluttered around her face as if he was afraid to touch her and yet desperately wanting to.

Meyrin felt a familiar warmth creeping up her neck at the look of caring in his eyes, but instead of saying anything to encourage that emotion she tugged her hand away from his and wiping her eyes with it she said,"I'm fine, Athrun but would you mind if we headed back to Miss Ramius's house? I am feeling a bit tired."

Athrun his hands now hanging limply by his sides nodded in response and moving closer to the street hailed a taxi.

Athrun stared at Meyrin's profile during the trip back to Murrue's house. His mind screamed at him to speak, to say something, not just sit there like a stone and waste these valuable moments with her. But fear that he would just end up hurting her, like he had Cagalli,kept him silent through the whole trip.

Holding open the door for her, Athrun opened his mouth to once again apologize for startling her and to ask her what she had been in such deep thought about, when the sound of an angry shout drew both of their attentions away from each other and on to the house.

"Dearka Elthman, what on earth are you doing here!"

Exchanging curious glances, Athrun and Meyrin entered the house in hopes of figuring out what was going on.

Author's Notes: Hi. Thank you for reading this chapter. I am sorry if it was dull. I was having writer's block something awful with it and I am hoping now that I have this chapter done other chapters will spring to mind more easily.

I hope you enjoy it. Please review.

Thank you to: ritachi and asdf for reviewing. Your comments were very encouraging to me.

God bless you, Jesus loves you,

EzrathenNehemiah Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of My Father which is in heaven.Matthew 18:19


	3. Chapter 3

Standard disclaimer: the author does not own Gundam Seed(Destiny) or any of its characters. Gundam Seed(Destiny) is the property of Bandai and Sunrise plus other people who I don't know the names of.

Dearka rubbed his hand over his face, and let out a sigh as he looked down at the face of his furious ex-girlfriend.

Swallowing his rising irritation over her less than friendly greeting, he said in a tired voice, "If you have a problem with me being here, Miriallia bring it up to Captain Ramius, she's the one who invited me to stay here after all."

Groaning slightly at this answer to the question she had screamed at him, Miriallia said,"Well, that explains why you are here at this house, but it doesn't explain why you are here in ORB in the first place."

Dropping into one of the many chairs in the spacious tea room, Dearka rested his hand on the palm of his hand and said in a non caring tone,"Oh, that. I am just here to help the Princess with the rebuilding of ORB on the behalf of ZAFT."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Miriallia raised an eyebrow at this statement, and in a tone of disbelief said,"Are you telling me that _you_ are some kind of goodwill ambassador from ZAFT?"

One of his trademark smirks finally made an appearance as Dearka said a bit smugly,"Yeah, pretty much."

Her brow furrowing with confusion, Miriallia continued with her line of questions,"But why would they send you? Why not just have Athrun do it?"

The smirk dropped off of Dearka's face at this question and shifting uneasily in the chair he opened his mouth to say something, but before he was able to a voice from the doorway broke into their conversation.

"Because Miriallia, even though Cagalli and Lacus forgave me, to the other leaders of the

Plants and ORB, I am still a traitor and thus they don't trust me with such an important task."

Meyrin's eyes clouded over with at this statement, knowing that the lack of trust the two countries put in him hurt even though nothing about his person betrayed that fact.

Reaching out a gentle hand she lightly touched his arm and popping her head around his body, looked up at him with concern filled eyes and whispered,"Athrun?"

Athrun smiled down at her and giving her hand a gentle squeeze, he held it in his own for a second before letting it drop.

This odd action roused Dearka's curiosity and with a flippant grin, he called out to his old friend,"Hey Athrun, who's the new girlfriend?"

Their cheeks burning red, Athrun and Meyrin quickly separated but before Athrun could say anything, Miriallia piped up exasperation evident in her voice as she said,"Meyrin isn't his girlfriend, Dearka."

Surprise brightening his purple eyes, Dearka turned his attention back to Miriallia and asked,"She's not? The why was she hanging onto him?"

"I don't know why she was hanging off of him, but since he is engaged to Cagalli, she is obviously not his girlfriend." A hint of rebuke linger in this comment but Meyrin took no notice of it,she was to caught up in the pain she felt after hearing that Athrun was engaged.

But before she was able to dwell on that pain for longer than a minute, Athrun spoke up his voice oddly detached.

"Are people still engaged when the woman takes off the engagement ring, Miriallia?"

Eyes widening at this question, Miriallia shook her head slowly and said,"No, I don't think so. Why do you ask?"

Instead of answering her question directly, Athrun merely turned around and as he was heading out of the room said bluntly,"Then Cagalli and I are not engaged."

A stunned silence filled the room after this abrupt statement from Athrun and it was several seconds before anybody made a move.

Meyrin was the first to move. She darted across the room to the door that Athrun had went through and grasping the handle was about to go after him in hopes of saying or doing something that would erase the shadows that had appeared in his eyes as he spoke of the ORB princess.

Before she was actually able to leave the room though, a strong hand wrapped around her right forearm and pulled her to a stop.

Twisting her head to look in the face of the person who was stopping her from leaving, Meyrin was surprised to find that it wasn't Miriallia who had drawn her up short as she had been expecting, but instead the young man whom everyone called Dearka.

Glancing down at his hand on her arm, Meyrin looked up at him and while her brow crinkled in both confusion and annoyance she asked politely,"Is there something you wanted Mr.Elthman?"

Dearka gave her a small smile and gently pushing her behind him, grasped the door knob with his other hand and with a quick motion was out the door, calling through the door,"I'll deal with Athrun,you guys just sit tight."

Meyrin stared at the door for a moment and then turning around asked Miriallia who had taken a seat on one of the couches in the room,"Is Dearka a friend of Athrun's?"

Miriallia looked up from studying the floor with a rather dark look on her face and giving Meyrin a reassuring smile said,"Yeah, he is. Why do you ask?"

Meyrin came to sit by the older girl and with a look of worry still hiding in her eyes said,"Oh, I was just wondering if I should go after him or not.But since Mr. Elthman is Athrun's friend I'm sure they are fine."

At this comment Miriallia's eyes widened with curiosity and leaning closer to the younger woman said in an almost suspicious tone,"Who are you to Athrun, Meyrin?"

Meyrin's eyes grew wide at this question and clenching her hands tightly over her heart said in a nervous tone, "I don't know what you mean, Miss Hawke.Athrun and I are friends, you know that."

Her eyes narrowing to slits Miriallia got to her feet and looking down at Meyrin said,"Yes, well I'm friends with Cagalli, Miss Hawke. Not you."

And with that cryptic comment Miriallia left the room, leaving Meyrin alone with her thoughts.

------

While Meyrin and Miriallia were having this friendly girl talk, Dearka had caught up with Athrun in the kitchen.

Walking over to his friend, Dearka waited quietly for a few moments as Athrun went about preparing a cup of coffee. When he offered him one, Dearka gave a brief shake of his head and having decided how he was going to approach the subject, said in a bland tone,"Was it because of the red head that Cagalli called the engagement off?"

Giving Dearka a cold look, Athrun said,"You would have to ask Cagalli that, she never told me her reasons," and without another word left the kitchen, heading back to the room he had just stormed out of.

Blinking in surprise, Dearka leaned against the kitchen table and muttered to himself,"Now I really want to know what's up." Straightening up a small smirk crept around his lips as a solution to two of his problems sprang to mind and acting on that thought, Dearka pushed open the kitchen's swinging door, and went in search of his ex hoping to get both, back together with her and some info on his friend's love life.

------

Stopping just outside of the living room door, Athrun paused to collect his thoughts hoping that Meyrin wouldn't decided to interrogate like Dearka had tried to do, while he was doing this, his cell phone gave a tinny ring, and switching his coffee cup to his left hand, he grabbed his cell phone with the other and flipping it open said,"Athrun, here."

A husky and very familiar voice said,"Athrun, it's Cagalli,I want to see you."

------

Author's note: This story hates me! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Any suggestions are welcomed.

Thank you for reading!

Thank you to:ritachi, SetsunaKou, Slightly Sinister Sinestra, Mirallia, Shimmering Rose Petals, Emily for reviewing your comments were very encouraging.

God bless you,

EzrathenNehemiah Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28


	4. Chapter 4

Standard disclaimer: the author does not own Gundam Seed(Destiny) or any of its characters. Gundam Seed(Destiny) is the property of Bandai and Sunrise plus other people who I don't know the names of.

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Taking a deep breath, Athrun let it out slowly as he said in a emotionless voice,"What do you want to talk about, Cagalli?"

There was a slight hesitation on the other end of the line and then,"I need your advice on some of the rebuilding projects. Can you come see me at the palace tomorrow? Say around, noon?"

His eyes were squeezed shut from the headache this simple phone call was already giving him, but without a second thought he replied,"Of course I can.I'll see you then."

"Thank you, Athrun. I- I..."

"Yes, Cagalli?" Athrun asked his voice far gentler as he noted the uncertainty in her voice. An infliction that had never been there before the second war. At least not when she had been speaking to him.

But instead of telling him what was wrong, all he heard from her was a deep sigh and,"Nothing, Athrun. Just thank you.I'll see you then."

She clicked off the connection and so did he, resting his now pounding from a serious stress headache forehead on his closed fist, struggling to get control of the myriad of emotions that had flooded through him at the sound of her voice.

So consumed with this task that he failed to pay attention to his surroundings, Athrun jumped and spun on pure reflex at the feel of something lightly brushing his shoulder.

Which was a pity, since he still had in his hand his very hot cup of coffee, a cup of coffee that was now quickly burning Meyrin's delicate skin.

------

Meyrin flinched as the steaming liquid hit her neck and chest and against her permission a tiny yelp of pain escaped her lips.

Athrun who had previously just been standing there in dumbstruck horror, leapt into action at the sound of this tiny cry.

Grabbing her wrist, he promptly dashed down the hallway to one of the house's many bathrooms.

Quickly opening the door, he scooped Meyrin up into his arms and before she could say anything, deposited her onto the floor of the shower.

Meyrin gave him a confused look at this action and opening her mouth to ask him what on earth he was doing, she received a mouthful of cold shower water for her trouble.

Gagging slightly, Meyrin spat out the water and in a rare fit of temper cried out,"Athrun, what are you doing?"

Athrun stared down at her his expression blank as he took in her appearance. The skin of her neck which had previously been an angry pink, was now back to it's normal creamy white, he noted thankfully. On the other hand now the rest of her wasn't looking too hot.

Her hair was dripping wet and trying to break free from the rubber bands that held it up in two pigtails, her violet shirt/dress was soaked and hanging off her like a sack cloth.

In short she looked very much like a wet dog.

And as he stood beside the shower looking down at her a sudden and strong desire began to swell in his chest. A desire he knew he should not give into.

And so he turned away from her hoping that not having her in sight would make the desire go away and for a second it seemed to work. But then he just had to take a second glance.

That second glance was his undoing.

He laughed.

And not a small polite, I'm sorry that happened to you but I can't help but chuckle a little laugh, no he laughed as if somebody had decided to hold him down and tickle him to death.

Staring up at him, Meyrin felt a sudden rush of happiness fill her body as she took in the simple joy on Athrun's face.While it can't be denied that she would much rather have seen him laughing so recklessly over something other than her being soaking wet, she was still happy that he was laughing for once and not being so solemn.

Not that that meant that she was going to let him laughing over her misery slide. Oh no, she wasn't that nice.

Carefully waiting until his eyes were closed once again in laughter, Meyrin reached out a hand and grabbing the end of his dark green jacket, yanked him in to the shower and under the cold water with her.

Athrun, letting out a startled,'Ack!', as he fell, staring at her with wide eyes.

Smiling a bit naughtily, Meyrin flicked a little water in his face and said,"Ha! Ha!"

------

That night as he lay in bed trying to find a comfortable position in which to fall asleep, Athrun's mind went back to a subject that he had been hoping to forget for the rest of the day.

What were his feelings for Cagalli and Meyrin?

The phone call from Cagalli had dragged to the surface of his heart feelings that he had been trying to keep buried until he was prepared to deal with them.

Of course the fact that he kept putting off even thinking about dealing with his feelings for Cagalli, was putting a bit of a crimp in his ability to move on with his life. But now at this dreary hour between midnight and dawn, his mind would no longer allow him to push these important issues aside.

And so running a hand through his messy hair, Athrun snapped open his eyes to stare into the darkness and to try make some sense of all the emotions swirling in his heart.

Running through the list of all the things that were demanding his attention, Athrun decided to tackle what he believed was the hardest problem first.

The feelings that had arisen from Cagalli's phone call earlier that day.

First there had been anger, an emotion he was all to familiar with when it came to Cagalli as of late, then had come a small burst of happiness, then depression when all she wanted to speak to him about had been work.

But under it all had been the steady beat of love that he had felt for her for so long, only problem was is whether or not that love was the same type as it had been before he left ORB for Zaft or if it had mellowed to the deep, simple love of friendship.

Letting his mind replay her voice in his head, he hoped that it would bring with it the same feeling he had felt earlier that day and that he would be able to tell what type of love he was feeling for his former fiancé.

No go, while the thought of her voice did bring back that wave of love he had felt, he was still unable to grasp what type of love it was.

Groaning in frustration, he shoved aside all thoughts of Cagalli and decided instead to focus on his feelings for Meyrin, naively believing that they would be much easier to comprehend.

An half-hour later all he had been able to figure out when it came to his feelings for Meyrin was that he always felt happy when he was with her, and that while he had been on the floor of the shower with her,hehad been far to attracted to her for his feelings towards her to be in any way brotherly, but before he had the time to try and dissect the reason why he was so happy when he was with her, sleep finally decided to come and claim his weary body.

And as he drifted away, his mind began to play for him sweet dreams that he would have no memory of in the morning. Which was a pity since the fact that he dreamed of laughing gray eyes and hair as red and bright as fire framing a face full of love and sweetness, might have given him an answer to the questions that plagued him so.

----------

On the other side of the mansion, some one else was also dreaming, but unlike Athrun their dreams were more nightmares than anything.

As the sound of an explosion echoed in her mind, Miriallia jerked up right in her bed, tears streaming down her cheeks as she sobbed out, "No, Tolle, Tolle."

Rubbing her blurry eyes, Miriallia looked around her room trying to remember were she was.

Taking in the simple desk and the plain white wardrobe in the corner of the room, she let out a sigh of relief as she realized that she was safe and sound in Murrue's and Andy's house, and not on the battlefield were Tolle had died.

Drawing her knees up against her chest, Miriallia rested her chin on them and closing her eyes briefly was again assaulted by the horrible images of her nightmare.

Letting out a sigh, she threw off her covers and grabbing her robe decided to head down to the entertainment room to watch some TV, in hopes of erasing her nightmare with a few idiotic images.

Creeping silently down the staircase, Miriallia walked up to the door of the entertainment room and hearing nothing was confident that she was the only one that was having a late night.

Which is why she was so surprised when upon entering the room, she found Dearka fast asleep on the couch.

Staring at him for a moment, Miriallia stubbornly refused to acknowledge the feeling of peace and safety that flooded through her at the mere sight of him and instead focused on what she should do.

Her body wanting to sit down being exhausted from all the worked she had been doing as of late, made the decision for her.

Before she really knew what she was doing, she was sitting next to Dearka on the couch and was watching him breath.

Knowing with out a doubt that she should not be doing this, especially with the way she had continuously told him to go away that day, and not in a nice way either, Miriallia nevertheless scooted a little closer to him and curling her legs beneath her leaned back on the couch and continued to watch his face, noting absentmindedly that he seemed so much more serious in sleep than he did while awake.

It was in this position that Miriallia ended up falling back to sleep, soothed by the warm feelings that Dearka presence always filled her heart with, not that she ever acknowledged that even to herself, but not even these warm and fuzzy feelings could stop the renewed fury she felt toward him when she woke up in the next morning in his lap.

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Author's Note: I hope this isn't to awful. I am sorry that it has taken me so long to update. This story is still being stubborn when it comes to flowing correctly.

I hope you liked it.

Thank you very much for reading. Please review!

Thank you,ritachi, ..., Shimmering Rose Petals, Anime FAn, asdf , Natalie, Skyforger, Blitzz, for reviewing. That was very kind of you and they were all very encouraging.

God bless you,

JLGuyer Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.John 14:27


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